Food Journal

Once again, it's been a while.  As in the past I haven't had much luck with losing weight and being healthier.  Will I ever succeed? Who knows! Maybe! Maybe not. But I do really hope so. This blog has been sitting here just waiting for me to come back and say something.  I've wondered if writing down what I've eaten each day will help me; keeping a food journal.  I've heard that it works for some people and at this point I'm totally up for whatever ideas I come across.  I'll also try to keep a journal of what I feel like in general.  So let's start here:

Friday March 13, 2015 
I work at my local supermarket now in the deli and tend to have to go into work at 5 am most days.  So today I woke up at 4:30 and went into work at 5.  I didn't eat anything until my break around 8; bad I know.

-sweet&salty nature valley bar
-1 egg, 1/2 cup orange juice, M&M's (peanut)
-chips and salsa
-2 chicken/cheese wraps
-1 can mt. dew
-a bit of ice cream
-1 bag popcorn
-1 bowl green grapes
-air head candies
-2 bottles of H20

It's about 8 at night so I'll probably eat again before going to bed but hopefully nothing too bad and not too much!!

Overall I feel like crap most days.  I'm sluggish and feel tired at work and at home; if not mentally, then physically. My knees hurt as well as my back. This is the most I've ever weighed in my life and it's starting to get the better of me. I was always used to just having a high metabolism so I didn't have to worry about it. Of course, I wish now that I had nipped this gaining weight problem in the bud when I was 19 and a freshman in college, but it's too late for that. I can't change what happened then; I can change what happens now. I'm the only person holding me back and I hope I'm finally fully realizing that. My addiction to food is becoming a worse and worse problem and it needs to stop. I'm a bored eater so if I don't keep myself occupied I just eat a bunch of crap.  Hopefully I can get myself into a good routine coupled with much better eating habits as well.

I guess we will see how it goes........again

:)   

Why.

Why is this so damn hard?! It's like every time I slip up with eating I tell myself, well you'll just have to do better next time. And I DON'T!! For something that seems so damn simple, it sure is hard.  My roommates and I are planning on going to some on-campus fitness classes 3 days a week starting tomorrow....maybe this can get me on track.....who knows.  I keep thinking things are going to work and they don't.  But I know exactly why:

                                 I am my own worst enemy in this fight.  To get to my goal, I need to fight                                                                                                                                                                 myself.

Just some motivation

Starting off good!

So I have decided how I would like to try going about losing weight, and it includes not only an awesome book I found at the store called the Shred Diet, but also I found an awesome yoga website I hope to keep taking classes from!

The past few weeks have been very hard for me, personally: I have been in college for going on the fifth year now and I am so ready to be done!! I feel like I go through quite a few mood swings, most of which find me down and in the dumps.  I hope that becoming healthier will allow me to keep myself out of these depressed phases and help my moods overall!

Today's lunch was pretty awesome!

Baked tilapia with edamame and water! Delicious!  

A new start

I have decided to start this blog over again because it seems like in the past when I have posted on here I just wasn't ready.  I wasn't ready to change, I wasn't ready to take my own health and happiness on and improve myself for the better.  But I like to think that I'm ready now, I don't know this for sure of course, but I have lost around 4.5 pounds in the past week and in a way it hit me.  I can do this.  This is the first time that I've seen results (no matter how little) since I gained all this weight after high school.

So hopefully it is my time now.  My time to finally take my life into my own hands and see what I am capable of, because I'm pretty sure if I try my hardest, it can be the most amazing time of my life.

First I'll post a recent picture of myself to remind me why I want to be healthier and fit.  But in addition, this picture will also have the main reason why I want to be healthier: for my wonderful boyfriend of 1 year, Ian.

 I am not completely happy with the way I look in this picture, but that's okay.  It should be motivation for me.

So hopefully this will be the last new start, and the beginning of the rest of my life.